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My poems were written in anger after Tiananmen Square. But what motivates most prison writing is a fear of forgetting. Today I am free, but the regime has never stopped its war on words
Most of my manuscripts are locked up in the filing cabinets of the ministry of security, and the agents there study and ponder them repeatedly, more carefully than the creator himself. The guys working this racket have superb memories; a certain chief of the Chengdu public security bureau can still recite the poems I published in an underground magazine in the 1980s. While the literati write nostalgically, hoping to go down in literary history, the real history may be locked in the vaults of the security department.
The above is excerpted from my book June 4: My Testimony, published in Taiwan in 2011. I wrote that book three times, the later drafts on paper much better than the paper I used for writing in prison, which was so soft and brittle I had to write very lightly. Paper outside prison is solid and flexible enough that you don’t have to worry about puncturing it with the tip of a pen. Thus, I restrained myself and filled in a page of paper, and then how many thousand – ten thousand? More? How many ant-sized words can be packed on to a page? Who knows.
On 10 October 1995, at two in the afternoon, three police cars carrying about a dozen special agents burst in on me. Everything was carried out in accordance with “legal procedures”, the officers’ IDs and search warrant were presented, the entire search process was meticulously videotaped, and all written matter in the house (including manuscripts, letters, and notes) was confiscated. And this included the very nearly completed draft of this testimony – more than 300,000 characters representing my painstaking efforts of the past year and a half.
I was breathing normally, signed with a smile, and asked: “Should I bring clothes?” The answer: “No.” I was uneasy leaving my money and valuables at home as I prepared to be the guest of the state for a long time. The agents laughed.
At 10 o’clock in the evening, I exited the Baiguolin police station in the Xicheng district of Chengdu and was politely told: “Don’t leave the city for the next month.” Thank God, my head was still on my shoulders and I could still write.
I cursed my carelessness with the foulest language imaginable and set about rewriting with all my might. Without inspiration or passion, the pen slashed the paper to ribbons, and often I could only produce a few hundred words a day. Staring at the paper was useless, and cold sweat couldn’t solve my writer’s block. But I’d made a bet; I couldn’t admit defeat. I wanted to use this to validate my own stupid way of living as an insignificant individual – a bet with the world’s largest dictatorship – with writing materials, so that in future my kids won’t think their dad was just talking big.
John Faye, Judah Kim, Moonroof, Alyssa Garcia, and Beau Frères will each serve up a piece of the musical pie. Also, Morgan Wallen and Neil Young play this weekend.
The territory’s justice minister has called for the anthem to be removed from the internet in the wake of the ruling
Hong Kong has demanded a during pro-democracy demonstrations in the territory be removed from the internet, in the wake of a court ruling which banned it.
In its judgment on Wednesday, the court of appeal described the song Glory to Hong Kong as a “weapon” to incite violent .
Critics said proposal to build canal linking Atlantic and Pacific would endanger environment and rural communities
Nearly a decade after it broke ground on a controversial plan to build a canal linking the Atlantic and the Pacific, Nicaragua has canceled a concession granted to a Chinese businessman to complete the project which critics said would endanger the environment and displace rural communities.
Despite a symbolic “ground-breaking” in 2014, no work was done on the canal that was to link Nicaragua’s Atlantic and Pacific coasts. At one point, crews broke ground on access roads near the canal but digging the waterway never started.
The story of a Bay Area Chinese-American girl who took the San Francisco school board to the Supreme Court in 1885 was recently published thanks to a retired attorney.
The story of a Bay Area Chinese-American girl who took the San Francisco school board to the Supreme Court in 1885 was recently published thanks to a retired attorney.
The Teach Asian American Stories Fellowship began its second cohort on Wednesday morning with eight new New Jersey-based fellows.
Beijing’s dominance raises economic and security concerns, and tensions will be high as top climate diplomats meet this week.
The Grubhub Community Fund has opened up applications for its $1.2 million AAPIStrong Restaurant Fund, aimed at helping AAPI-owned small businesses.
Nicaragua's congress has canceled a controversial canal concession, granted years ago to a Chinese businessman, that would have linked the country's Pacific and Atlantic coasts.
The president has proposed new barriers to Chinese electric vehicles, steel and other goods in an attempt to protect his manufacturing agenda.
U.S. elections, there will be 2 million more Asian American voters than there were four years ago, according to the Pew Research Center. VOA Correspondent Scott Stearns reports on how Asian American ...